|
Happy
Valentine's
Day |
After
21 years as an exotic dancer, Mary Taylor knows a thing or two about
seduction--so much so, in fact, she now teaches seminars on the
subject! In addition, she has produced a video titled "The Art
of Seduction" and an accompanying CD, which collectively give
women step-by-step instructions on how to strip for their partners!
(She says the |
CD,
in addition to perfectly accompanying the strip-tease, is also good
for relaxing and making love! We're sold.)
With
Valentine's Day looming around the corner, though, Mary has agreed
to give YourMVP
readers a few tips on ways both men and women can spice up their love
life. Women love her because she understands their desire for
romance--and offers simple steps to re-ignite it. Men love her
because she says both sexes are to blame for lack of romance in relationships.
Now
she gives us a few not-so-secret secrets for bringing back the
passion just in time to score major brownie points at this integral
time of year. Pay attention, guys, because, according to Mary, it
might not be as hard as you think!
What
is the most overlooked thing to know about "seduction"?
People
get too comfortable and they stop doing nice things for each other.
You wind up taking each other for granted.
What
can you do to overcome that?
Oh,
there are lots of things! Leave each other little notes requesting
dates. Leave a note saying, "Meet me at such-and-such place at a
specific time for a surprise!"--and then [your partner] doesn't
know what is going to take place. It may be just that you're all
dressed up--but you're not wearing any underpants. Then go dancing
and let your partner know you're not wearing any underpants! Don't
necessarily do anything about it, but it definitely gets the juices flowing.
Hmm
. . . That sounds like it could get messy. <pause> I think men
get a bad rap. Men get accused of taking their women for granted more
than women do. What do you think the truth is?
I
think both sexes are totally responsible for neglecting each other.
A lot of times you get men that do nice things for women--a lot of
times--and I think that when they do, the women either expect
something bigger of slough it off. For example, when I was dancing, I
had many times when I would get complimented on what I was wearing.
And knowing these men were in relationships, I would say,
"Doesn't your girlfriend wear sexy things like this?" And I
would get the answer, "Are you kidding? I bought my wife an
outfit for Valentine's Day and I've never seen it." Or "I
bought her an outfit, but she's never even worn it. I don't think she
liked it." When men do nice things, and women show no
appreciation, the men get discouraged by that--and then they stop
doing it. Why do nice things if nobody is going to appreciate it? If
I got a gift, I would wear it even if I really didn't like it. Then I
would make a little suggestion like, "Thank you, that was so
nice! Maybe next time we can go shopping together and I can model
them for you in the store." That way you get something you like
and they get a reward for doing something nice.
Do
you think men fail to do things out of fear of rejection?
I
talk about fear in my workshops a lot. A lot of women are afraid to
[strip or wear sexy clothes] because they think, "Oh, my God,
he's going to think I've got too much cellulite or my boobs are too
small or my bum is too big." It all comes from fear. Men have
the same fears. Fear is not knowing what the outcome [of an action]
will be. If you knew that you could stand in front of a crowd and
make a speech and the crowd would applaud, there would be no
fear--because you'd already know the outcome. Fear stems from not
knowing how you're going to be received--and that goes for both men
and women.
How
can you overcome that fear?
You
have to build your confidence up. To do that, you have to like
yourself for who you are. Knowing that everybody in the world has
stretch marks or cellulite or whatever. Knowing your partner wouldn't
be with you if he or she didn't like your appearance in some way.
Nobody realizes this really. If I'm dating someone, I obviously like
the way they look. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Everyone has
a preference--and when you get together initially, it's usually that
outward appearance that attracts you. Or, if you've been with someone
and they tend to gain weight through the years, the person you're
with grows with you in some ways--and they love you for who you are
and what you've become.
Good.
Now that we've got the basics, let's hear some of those ideas for
having a fantastic Valentine's Day!
I
think food is great. There are all kinds of romantic foods you can
prepare. Oysters. Or chocolate ecstasy brownies. One lady is coming
up with a recipe book called "Taste the Love"--and it's all
about erotic recipes. If you prepare a romantic evening--with candles
and all that--the food is very important. People don't often think
about that. They think about the massage oils and everything else,
but they don't really think about what they're going to munch on.
People eat as a social affair. Food brings people together. So if
you're at home, prepare fabulous foods, and don't worry about making
a mess. Dip strawberries in chocolate. There are all kinds of foods
you can spread on each other and lick off. You can even dip your
breasts in chocolate and have your partner lick it off!
Mmm
. . . chocolate covered breasts. A favorite.
Or
rent a romantic movie, push the furniture out of the way, spread a
blanket out on the floor so you're not doing the sit-on-the-couch
thing and have a picnic. Take a drive out in the country. Set up a
picnic ahead of time and then watch the sun go down. If you're near a
beach, light a bonfire and watch the sun go down. You can also leave
little cards all over the house, each one instructing them to go
someplace specific in the house and do something erotic--or have
something done to them--and it's on a time limit. They have to
complete everything in a certain timeframe.
Great
suggestions.
Also,
if you've got "good China," pull it out and use it! Don't
just save the good stuff for when you've got "company."
Your partner is "company." By sharing your good things with
him or her, it makes them feel special!
It
sounds like the small things really do count. It doesn't have to be extravagant?
It
can be something as simple as spending an evening in your bathroom.
If you have a nice bathroom and a big tub, fill it up with bubbles
and spend an evening in there. You can eat your dinner in the
bathtub! Feed each other all these little goodies and champagne in
the tub. Fill the room with balloons, make it toastie warm, and
undress each other--or do a strip-tease for each other while the
other is in the tub waiting and anticipating you to get in.
How
should a man tastefully and tactfully tell his partner this is
something he would be interested in . . . without making her feel
she's doing something wrong to begin with?
Maybe
if he did it for her first . . . Men are afraid of rejection, but if
he planned a really romantic evening like this first--nothing
overwhelming and they did it on a regular basis. When I teach my
classes, I tell them that if you've been in a relationship for, let's
say 15 years and you don't even think about undressing in front of
your partner, you need to start building the relationship back up.
You need to start doing spontaneous little things you don't normally
do. When you're in a relationship for that long, you tend to not
dress up as much as you used to in the beginning. Start doing little
things for yourself that your partner is going to notice. Dress up
more around the house. Wear high heels around the house if you're a
woman. Do things that are going to make them wonder what is going
on--and don't have any expectations. Instead of wearing your flannel
pajamas to bed, wear sexy things and don't expect sex. When they get
used to you doing these great little things, you can move on to
bigger things. They're either going to think you're having an affair
<laughs> . . . or they're going to be ready to build up to
something like a strip-tease or one of these romantic evenings. Get
to know each other all over again.
It's
always surprising that the longer you are in relationships with
people, the less you talk to them.
Yes,
sometimes you grow so far apart you are in relationships with people
you don't even like any more--and you wonder how you got there. And
it's really, really hard turning back time. You can never take back
all the moments you've lost--but you can start building for the
future. Start right now and build toward a really fun future. That's
what's missing in most relationships: FUN.
For
more info on Mary, her video, seminars or CD, check her out at: www.PeelandPlay.com
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